Someday I may even wear a belt

Too fat, too stupid. I pounded the messages into my head for more than half a century. I'd say my self-image stank and stunk! I've been working hard to rid my mind of these negative thoughts for well over five years, now. The hard, cleansing road began with some professional help, a depression diagnosis and then a prescription. The tremendous support I receive from my husband was/is vital to my new outlook. But the dang body image thing continues to plague me. When did I quit caring about how I look? Had to have been somewhere between my divorce at age 46 and the reality of dealing with this aging thing. During this 20 year span, I was working on getting my head together, but letting the exterior go to pot! I gained even more weight - ended up with type two diabetes.

My style (if I ever had one) was lost! I've never been much of a shopper, so I would usually stick to one store- it was Chicos, but their style changed along with mine. I found myself drawn to - Oh God, dare I say - Christopher Banks and the elastic bands and non-tailored shirts and tops. The bigger the better. That led to where I'd just go to my closet and pick anything to wear - anything. Black became my go-to "everything" color. No matching needed- just black! The StarTribune article got it right, my clothes were tooooooo big. What the writer didn't say, and wouldn't know, is those clothes hide my frustration and guilt over my inability to make exercise part of my regime and take better care of myself physically. You'd think being a type 2 diabetic would be enough of an incentive. About two weeks before seeing the StarTribune Facebook post seeking an older professional for a makeover, I realized I had to do something - but I needed a role model to help me define my style - a style that would reflect my new outlook on life and my desire to remain a vibrant member of the workforce. I searched the Internet and came up with Dame Judy Dench! I love her look, I love her attitude - and she is aging gracefully. And who wouldn't want to be James Bond's boss? I printed off her photo, and it hangs in a place where I can view it daily. So thank you, Carly Gatzlaff, for helping me find my own style - in my own closet- and the courage to wear color, boots, makeup and clothes that are a bit more form-fitting. My outside is on its way to reflecting my new improved outlook on myself and life in general. I am a work in progress- inside and out. Who knows, one day I may even wear a belt!

We've met the Trojan Horse.

Note: I wrote this for the White Bear Press on Tuesday, Sept. 11, 2001 You’re diligent about locking your doors, both the car and your house. You wear your seatbelt; eat the recommended servings of food and vegetables and exercise religiously. Why? Because there’s a little voice inside that tells you, “if you do these things, all will be well.” You walk through the security gates at the airport, assured that anyone carrying a weapon will be detected. You sit in your living room, turn on the news and feel some comfort in knowing that the political and religious strife depicted on the screen is happening far removed from your backyard. You feel safe. Then came Tuesday, Sept. 11. As symbols of American might - New York’s World Trade Towers and a wing of the Pentagon go up in smoke, our collective American psyche is forever shaken. How could this happen? We are in America. We are the superpower; we have the might and we are invincible. Didn’t the video-game-like Gulf War some 10 years ago prove that? How our arrogance has made us vulnerable. We are a nation of people who believe in technology. We’ve spent billions on intelligence systems to keep us secure. We have satellites that track movements on the ground from afar. And it all failed. Up until Sept. 11, everything felt so routine, so normal. But on Tuesday morning, another entity entered the scene and now everything is out of whack .... It’s called the world. And this reality is, at times, ugly. It really doesn’t matter who masterminded this catastrophe. Knowing won’t bring back the thousands who have died. Knowing won’t change the world events that will unfold as a result of this attack. Knowing won’t bring back our sense of well-being. Tuesday, Sept. 11, 2001, was the day Americans met the Trojan Horse.

Ecuador-Memories

Adios for now- Hasta la próxima

I haven't made time to finish posting about our trip to Ecuador, but knowing my memory, I'd better get this completed before it all escapes me. Here's what I will take away from my trip: • Ecuador has changed so much since my first visit in 1996. It is great to see an improvement in the standard of living for many people. • While I seriously consider this as a place to retire, I can't help but wonder what the effect on this small country will be with so many Gringos wanting to call it home. No doubt, when North Americans enter the scene, things can change. • I love the Andes. The highways have much improved since 1996. There are still hair-raising hair-pin turns; the fog still presents a challenge.

And then there is the variety of Ecuadorian fastfood found along the way. (The hanging pig may look gross, but fried up with some potatoes - it's a real treat.)

From the variety of potatoes, soups, vegetables, fruits, seafood and meat dishes, you can eat your way through the country. Ahh, the people. I love travelling through the different provinces and seeing the different groups of indigenous people, in their identifying dress.

Ecuador, you are in my heart. Till next time.

The miracle of Banos

Banos is a special destination not only travelers from other countries who are catered to with the have-your-pick-of-hostals, but it is a special place for its residents and a playground for Ecuadorians from other parts of the country. On any day, you can expect to see either a parade along the streets celebrating a religious feast day or mourners carrying a coffin to its resting place. Around noon, the narrow walkways are filled with children in their school uniforms being escorted by their parents to, I assume, their homes. If you a planning a shopping spree, better check out the shop hours. Many open late, close early for siesta and reopen later in the day until about 8 p.m..

On Friday evenings the town is alive with activity - families come for an outing. This father said that people come from all over Ecuador to party in Banos - he said they are a conservative people and don't want to be seen having a good time in their own villages.

Banos is famous for its hot springs, mineral pools, all fed by volcanic waters. Additionally, the nearby Tungurahua Volcano, which still makes itself known with eruptions now and then, is a draw for hikers, mountain bikers, nature lovers and thrill seekers.

Banos has its miracle - The La Basilica de Nuestra Senora del Rosario de Agua Santa. It was the only building left standing after a major eruption, and is still considered a safe harbor. When it's time to eat, you will find many choices that will appeal to an American unadventurous palette. I would certainly recommend Cafe Hood and La Caldera Cafe where my chicken was prepared to perfection. But if you want to step out of your gastro comfort zone, visit the downtown mercardo, and stop by one of the stands for papas and puyo; if you dare, try a fruit smoothie as well.

Banos in Banos

The draw of Banos for locals and foreigners alike is its temperate climate and the mineral hot springs created by the nearby volcano. The town has three different areas where you can go for a soak, but the one shown is located a couple blocks from where we are staying along Avenida De Las Amazonas. It is public, but doesn't attract as many people because the water isn't HOT, HOT! There are several pools, with varying temperatures. I found one pool to be just perfect, and the one shown is more of a gentle hot tube experience. I learned that if you are sitting in a pool that has a white sort of scum on it, that's OK ...because these are the minerals before they have a chance to disperse.

Image soaking in a pool of warm water, surrounded by beautiful vegetation and looking up the side of a mountain. Life can't get any better than that ... oh, and all at a cost of $2. In case you have the opportunity to come here, this is the address.